I accidentally had phone sex last night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
