Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
