FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
