I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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