At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
