He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
