so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
