So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
