he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
