I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
