i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
