why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
