i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
