Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
