Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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