She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
