the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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