why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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