If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
