Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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