if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
