evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
