she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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