do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
