They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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