i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
