1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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