Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize