So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
