I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
