I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
