two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
