Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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