was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
