He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.