Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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  (707): Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried? http://tfl.nu/0ae3
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  dude did u upper deck my toilet?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  haha like two months ago

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u

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  (314): dude did u upper deck my toilet? (1-314): haha like two months ago (314): i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u http://tfl.nu/8xxw
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so no drinking for you?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  don't be silly

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  (615): small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party (423): so no drinking for you? (615): don't be silly http://tfl.nu/xiol
  Replies (50) Good night (9430) Bad night (743)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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  (630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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  (404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.

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  (606): I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped. http://tfl.nu/y7kh
  Replies (14) Good night (762) Bad night (3522) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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  (918): Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet? http://tfl.nu/ki3z
  Replies (5) Good night (4476) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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  (765): just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters http://tfl.nu/51nh
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (4870) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too

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  (920): No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too http://tfl.nu/6mfg
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3523) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

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  (772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list. http://tfl.nu/hcyy
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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  (301): OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch. http://tfl.nu/e5zg
  Replies (9) Good night (699) Bad night (2613) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1234) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt

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