Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...