My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?