College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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