Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
