I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
