but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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