Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
