with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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