in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
