we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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