yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
