its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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