He kissed a someone with a penis
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
