I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize