you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
