Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
