so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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