I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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