thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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