so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize