what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
