And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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