Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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