at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You dont lie about slip and slides
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
