Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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