naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
