You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
